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Merci

by Save Face

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credits

released July 13, 2018

For Kaleb and Blake.
Let this be the sonic recollection of your tragedy.
The auditory personification of your neurosis.
The soundtrack of your love.
I wish you could’ve heard it - maybe things would’ve been different.
Merci.

This record was made by Tyler Povanda, Chris Flannery and Phil McGarry from June 2016 to February 2018.

All music written by Save Face
Lyrics by Tyler Povanda

Additional Credits
Eric Butler - Trombone
Sam Kless - Upright Bass
Ryan Ellery - Cello, String and Brass arrangement
Avi Dey - Trumpet
Olivia Higbee - Spoken word heard in “Rien”

Jay Zubricky recorded all drums, various percussion, electric guitar, and bass at GCR Audio.
Tyler Povanda recorded all vocals, acoustic guitar, and some additional electric guitar in the house that he grew up in.
Ryan Ellery recorded cello, trumpet, trombone, and upright bass.
Mixed by Vince Ratti.
Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music.

Art Direction by Tyler Povanda
Layout by Tyler Povanda and Jason Link
Photography by Benjamin Lieber

Management: Tim Zahodski and Justin Collier at Good Fight Management
Booking: Brad Wiseman at APA Agency

saveface.band | @savefacenj

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Save Face New Jersey

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Track Name: Merci
“Merci.” Like the French you would mutter under your breath, underneath the sheets with me. Like the last words I heard you speak. “Thanks for nothin’, Baby.”
Merci.
Track Name: Bad
Said you got it “bad,” so you wrote it on your hands. So when your head is buried in ‘em, you won’t forget that you never had a chance.

“Real bad,” yeah you said you got it “real bad.” Well I got your number, but I don’t got anything to say to you anymore. You got it bad, Love.

“Real good,” that’s how you tell everyone you’ve been. Well you got my number, but I sure as hell ain’t waitin’ around for you anymore.
Track Name: Blues
My face, the floor. Your back, the door. My fist in the wall for the third time.

Now my car is a wreck. I can’t work the tape deck. All I got are these god-awful mix cassettes that I made for your drives, back when you were still mine. Back when I knew what I was doing with my life. And I don’t think that I can go back.

Everybody thinks I’m hooked. Yeah, you read me like a book. Overbaked and undercooked, remember when you held me while I shook?

Sometimes I wish you’d talk of me the way you talk about dying.

Now I’m pushing down pills, while I’m pushing up food. Now I’m coughing up blood and singing the Blues. Now you’re pulling me in, while I’m cursing you out. Still got the taste of the floor in the back of my mouth. And I don’t think that I can go back.

Everybody thinks I’m hooked. Yeah, you read me like a book. Overbaked and undercooked, remember when you held me while I shook? Yeah, everybody thinks I’m hooked.
Track Name: Heartache
Left my keys in the mailbox. Left the back door unlocked, so I could tell myself I still had a way to crawl back in your bed, and crawl out of my head. So I might be there when you wake up in the morning.

Left my hair in the sink. Left my love in red ink. So I could tell myself I wouldn’t end up back at my mother’s front door. Got cut up by the teeth in the floor. I swore I’d never get half as chewed up as I am now, and just look at how that turned out.

You, yeah you got heartache coming your way. Now there’s nothing else to say, that’s how we’ll leave it.

Left my meds on your desk (the ones you thought I was taking) so I could tell myself I don’t need your help to fill in the cracks. You said I ain’t worth the shirt on my back. Said you’d be hearin’ from me in a month when I’m all out of money.

You, yeah you got heartache coming your way. Now there’s nothing else to say, that’s how we’ll leave it. Don’t you know it has to be this way? Oh Love, you’ve got heartache in your veins. That’s how we’ll leave it.
Track Name: Weak
Been weak all week, and now the blood from my gums is starting to coat my tongue and stain my teeth. I don’t wanna know how I wound up in your car again. You think that I’d have better things to do at 5am. So why don’t you and I go make the same mistake again? Apparently I’d rather complicate my life than get some sleep. You know you make me weak.

You will devour my heart and you will let me starve and I’ll just sit there like I’m glued to my seat. I don’t wanna know how I wound up in your car again. You think that I’d have better things to do at 5am. So why don’t you and I go make the same mistake again? Apparently I’d rather complicate my life than get some sleep. You know you make me weak.
Track Name: Jonesin'
I need a crutch. I need a chemical with a name I can’t pronounce. I need a fix. You were the mortar in between my bricks, but now nothing will stick. Got your voice still in my ears, and now I’m jonesin’ somethin’ fierce. I don’t think of you at all, Love. Do you still think of me?

You said you need affection, just not the kind that could ever come from me. I think I’ve hit rock bottom with translucent orange bottles, and now I’ll never leave. Got your voice still in my ears, and now I’m jonesin’ somethin’ fierce. I don’t think of you at all, Love. Do you still think of me? Now the drugs ain’t gonna help, and now you’re jonesin’ for someone else. Oh, you don’t think of me anymore, but I still think of you. I can’t stop thinking of you. I can’t stop.
Track Name: Pour
A half full full-size bed in a home that you wish you’d forget. Could’ve been there when you woke up in the morning but I woke up in my car instead. Would you ruin me like you used to?

My remains will become the rain that will pour on your grave, on the day that your mother can’t contain it no more, while she begs on her knees saying, “Why can’t you tell me what I did to deserve this? Oh God, just send me to Hell.” But she’s no sinner, no matter how bitter; how poor.

Will you ever get used to the fact that I won’t be there when you wake up in the morning now? Just a half full full-size bed. No home. Just a house.
Track Name: Mercy
Caught in between what you want and what you need, do you still need me? You woke on your knees. Pray to God I do too, keep your conscience clean. Is that what you call mercy? What is that supposed to mean?

Words in your mouth that you kept from coming out, don’t you ever speak? Thoughts in your head that you take with you to bed, don’t they ever leave? Is that what you call mercy? Tell me what that’s supposed to mean.

Caught in between what you want and what you need, do you still need me? You woke on your knees. Pray to God I do too, keep your conscience clean. Is that what you call mercy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Track Name: Plans
You were making plans, I was sleeping in. Bet you didn’t think I’d notice the bruises on your skin. Yeah, you were making plans. You were making plans, you were sleeping out. The bags underneath my eyes could nearly touch my mouth. Yeah, you were making plans. There’s not a goddamn thing worth loving like the way that I loved you. Now the bags under my eyes have bags too.

We were making plans on your shitty couch late at night, but you made some new ones now. We were making plans. We were making plans, we were making love. But now you only say you love me when you get fucked up. Yeah, we were making plans. There’s not a goddamn thing worth loving like the way that I loved you. Now the bags under my eyes have bags too.
Track Name: Nothin'
Burnt in my eyes and the back of my head, the image of the imprint that you left on my bed. It’s all I can see. So thanks for nothin’, Baby. Now I’m nothin’ to you, and now you’re nothin’ to me. Whoever told you this is how it has to be? You’d rather be nothin’ to me.
Track Name: Reds
I wish I could pick up a vice to cope with these volatile moods. I guess cigarettes and coffee just don’t kill me like you do. Every time I comb my hand through my hair, half of it comes loose. You were looking at your feet when I was looking for an excuse.

So I’ll roll up my right sleeve and hope that I don’t seize. ‘Cause my left arm’s numb and everything tastes like Reds. Yeah, you fucked me up way more than anything else could have.

You are the tar in my lungs, in my veins, in my taste and on my breath. “Another day, another dose” has got me feeling comatose now. And nothing you could say or do or I don’t even know is gonna cut it. Now that the withdrawal has kicked in and I’m just begging for one more hit. Everything tastes like Reds.
Track Name: Love
So when you woke up in some other apartment, did you forget my name? When I tossed the photo that was sitting by my bed, I kept the frame. I guess it was involuntary, I get that it was just involuntary, but I don’t know if I can keep this up, Love. I can’t even breathe. I got nothing worth waking up for now, so maybe I just won’t.

So tell me, Baby, when you woke up in someone else’s bed did you feel the same? And when you were talkin’ shit on AJ’s porch, did you curse my name? I guess it was involuntary. I just don’t get how that could be involuntary. I don’t know if I can keep this up, Love. I can’t even breathe. I got nothing worth waking up for now, so maybe I just won’t.

I don’t know if I can keep this up, Love.
Track Name: Rien
Peux-tu te rappeler les jours quand j'étais ton amour?
Merci pour rien. Rien.
Track Name: Yours
Come on in the water, swear it’s warmer than it was before. You know you’re more than welcome, go ahead and leave your clothes by the door. Will you worry when you start to find that you can hardly recognize your own face anymore?

So tell me ‘bout that water was it warmer than it was before? Overstayed your welcome, everybody’s gone, and it’s starting to pour. Do you worry when you say you’re fine? You couldn’t even recognize my face. Did it hurt to hear me say that I ain’t yours no more? ‘Cause it hurt to walk away knowing I ain’t your Love. No, I ain’t your Love no more. You know damn well why you can hardly recognize me.

I ain’t your Love no more.

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